is defined as an intense longing, or unbridled sexual desire in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. The Bible depicts the lust of the eyes, mind and the flesh, in the context of sexual immorality, or idolatrous worship. Although, lust is mentioned 29 times in the Bible and in various context, this excerpt will focus mainly on the sexual nature of lust, with Biblical references.

In a nutshell, what does the Bible say about ‘Lust’? While the Old Testament illustrates examples of ‘ungodly’ desires that does not please God, with a focus on idolatry, the New Testament focuses on illicit sexual morality. Both however, connotates similar messages; a focus on things that can be considered ‘idols’, because they can occupy places in our soul, mind, and heart and shift our focus from God. Is there such a thing as godly, and ungodly lusts? Although the Bible refers to lust in a negative light in all references, the distinction between love and lust must be noted, as well as the difference between desire and lust.

Love is defined as ‘an intense feeling of deep affection’, where affection is ‘to show fondness or tenderness’. However, lust lacks this ‘deep affection’, although it is also characterized by an intense longing. Desire is ‘to long or hope for’, and it is not to be mistaken for lust, because it lacks the intensity characterized in the definition of lust.

How can you tell the difference between love and lust? How do you know if someone genuinely loves you, or they actually lust you, or vice versa. This is a normal reaction when assessing the early stages of a potential long term relationship. The very simple answer is that love seeks to give; for God so love the world that he ‘gave’ his only begotten son (John 3:16). The pros must outweigh the cons! That is, the benefit of that potential relationship should be highly visible. Apart from the usual physical attraction, and sexual desire, there should also be a feeling of fondness/tenderness, evident in the care that is shown to you, or in your consideration of the other’s feelings. In the same way, faith without works is dead, love without works is doomed.

There is a very interesting and unique example of lust in 2 Samuel 13; where King David’s son Amnon ‘fell desperately in love’ with his half sister, Tamar. He was so obsessed that he became physically ill, until his dejection was noticeable daily. This type of desperation should be carefully examined. Although there is a dark side to Love, generally, the emotions Love provokes are happiness, excitement, sensuality etc., but not desperation. Desperation is usually a sign that you are out of balance. And you are probably, infatuated or lustful instead of love, or there is an area in your life that requires emotional healing/wholeness. When there is a wound in the soul resulting from past trauma, hurt or pain, this can affect the way you Love, and the result can be over-dependency on the object of your affection. Even so, this dysfunction is still very different to the nature and symptoms of a lustful relationship. 

Tamar pleaded with Amnon to marry her when she realizes\ his intent to have forceful sex, but to no avail. Even when she reminded him of the stigma and consequences of his action, he could not refrain. At this point, it is evident that this scenario is not ‘a desperate love’ as depicted by the author, but rather ‘a lust’ situation. Amon showed no concern or affection for his sister, or the resulting consequences. In fact, after he raped Tamar, he told her, ‘get out of here’! He shouted, ‘throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her’. His lust turned to instant hate, because there was no ‘affection’ to sustain it.

While I am on this topic, it is important to note that ‘love’ alone is incapable of sustaining a romantic relationship. People fall in and out of love all the time, but rather ‘commitment’ and ‘understanding’ are the keys to sustaining long term healthy relationships.

From this example it is evident that lust influenced actions without conscience, because ‘care/affection’ was absent. Let’s examine this a bit. How do you suppose Amnon became obsessed with Tamar? Tamar was the sister of Absalom, who was reputed to be the most ‘beautiful man’ in all of Israel. 2 Samuel 14:25, states that Absalom was without blemish; beautiful ‘from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet’. Tamar may have been quite a beauty herself; having common parents. Amnon may have admired and desired her for a long time, and entertained inappropriate imaginations, which presented an opportunity for temptation (which came in the form of his cousin, Jonadab’s advice on how to get Tamar alone). Illustrating James 1:14-15; in action, ‘temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.  

To be Continued in Part 2…